Remember that goal I set… have an awesome race, gain some confidence going into the marathon, and don’t need a PR, just a good race? Yea, that didn’t happen. Then immediately you start to reflect. Why did it not go well? Maybe it was because I did 15 on Sunday, 3miles of speed work Tuesday, and 10 miles at marathon pace Wednesday, and 2 weight training days? So 28 miles right before a ½. Probably not the best idea. Or, blame it on the weather? It was hot, humid, and gross. My chaffed sports bra lines can show you that for sure. My legs ached the entire time, even hinging on cramping, especially around miles 7-9. Or maybe it is because this isn’t fun for me right now? I’m more or less running scared. I had a lot of issues last year,Plantar Fasciitis, I have very little cartilage in my knees (thank you dad, he doesn’t either), I have a random hip issue stemming from no cushioning in my bottom two vertebrates (like what happens to 70% of people over the age of 65, except I have it now). I know… I may sound like a whiney excuse maker, but it’s the reality of the situation. So I hope this doesn’t cause your eyes to roll at me. So really I’m not sure… but either way, I should be happier about finishing a ½ marathon than I am. Boooooo hiss on this attitude but I can’t shake it!!
I have tried everything. EVERYTHING!! Rereading race stories of people, looking over my plan, making changes, looking at the shiny medal I would get at Louisiana Marathon, positive self-talk, negative talk, self-bribery, sarcasm, rest, breaks, I even at this point would pay someone to run next to me the entire time. Takers?? Anyone? Bueller… Bueller?
As of right now, I am NOT going to run the Louisiana Marathon. My heart has also never really been in this race, which to me makes it wayyyy harder. I have refused to let myself get excited (revert back to running scared, White Rock Marathon memories, pain, disappointment). I say this, but I have not gone as far as to change my race, or really even stop training. I have looked at a few other plans, more “finish” a marathon type plans, instead of what we have been doing, that have a few less miles.
The main huge issue is I just truly don’t think my body likes anything over 13.1 miles. I have just now started to feel those issues pop up that kind of remain bearable running under 13. Really half training is not bad on my body, but upper mileage just starts to cause everything to freak out. I’m still sore on Thursday from Sunday long runs. Everything hurts, and every remedy doesn’t work, ice baths, foam rolling, stretching, adult beverages… ha. Nothing. It just feels like crap. This doesn’t happen for a half. I mean it does but NOT to the same level, and it requires way fewer miles per week to run. Duh, half! So I am not sure if it is “worth it.” I can do it, but what will I feel like after, what will my body do? Can it handle the rest of training and the run? Maybe I’ll just play it on feel? Can you train like that?? UGH!
I could run another marathon… and finish… I think. But I don’t know how fast, how happy, how painful/painless it will be, what damage will be done… etc? Am I supposed to drop to a half and not ever attempt the distance again to “save” my body/mind, so that I’ll actually keep running.
Am I a weenie?
Then to add further confusion to this madness. I am not a lone runner. I have a race buddy. A badass race buddy. I don’t want to not do it and her do it alone, train alone, be out there alone. Not that she wouldn’t be anyways… I’m slower (and ps I’ve known this forever, check out the about us page, so this is not it either) Don’t worry I have run that option through my mind as being a “mental” reason for this. It’s not. But you get the point. Also that jealous streak sets in of “I’m so close to this person, and she can do it, and I don’t feel I can.” (race distance not speed) Ouch… but it’s true, and you all know what I am talking about. We are human. So yea… I don’t know what to do.
Do I just need to become a bike rider?
So there you have it. My sad whiney, god only knows what rant.
What would YOU do?